To a Man who is Not Yet in My Life:
I wish you were already, because I’m sick of being alone, sick of eating all my meals alone, sick of drinking two glasses of wine alone and having no one to talk to. Sick of it being late in the night and having no one to be on the phone with in a loose, relaxed manner. Sick of having no one to rough and tumble with.
I wish I could meet and trust you.
Don’t let me down, ok?
(Day 13 was awesome. Super fun party. Phone call with Tom. Tentative plans for this weekend. Day 14 was pleasant. Suit shopping with madre, who has a new job that calls for looking like a classy business woman. Found her some awesome pieces in an even more awesome sale and she surprised me by getting me a killer green calvin klein dress which will spend more time in the closet than I’d like, seeing as how I never go anywhere classy enough to wear it. I may normally disparage name brands, but I’m a sucker for calvin. Saw District 9. Laughed at how very much we were not the right audience for it. Day 15 will be ok if I can avoid pessimistic grumps re: Tom. Picnic and jazz concert in one of my fav. public gardens w/ mom and a ton of highly conservative old folks. Am thinking of wearing something scandalous and preaching pro- gay rights, socialized health care, and immigration stances.)
Oh ye to whom I send emails!
Perhaps you do not realize this, but I know you’ve been online.
Correction: I know you’ve been playing online. If all I could see was that you’d been on, perhaps I could convince myself that you’re just really, really busy and haven’t been able to write back, that you had been using the internet for vital important business and simply hadn’t the time for casual communications! I would try to be sympathetic.
But no. No, that is not the case. You’ve been showing up, for instance, on my fbook news feed. You’ve been posting funny and interesting links. This means that not only have you found time to browse funny and interesting websites, you’ve even had time to type up chatty links to them. You are showing up on my gmail chat, also. True, you’ve been showing up as unavailable for chat, but you’ve still been showing up, for hours at a time for days in a row. You’ve made time to change your gmail chat status multiple times a day. I can see this. The internet tells me, without my even requesting to know, that you have made time to fiddle around and amuse yourself online.
If you have time to fiddle around and amuse yourself, you have time to type out a few sentences to me and hit send. You really, really do.
You are the freakin coolest.
Your baby is due TODAY, and yet you still get up there on the Grammy stage, and swagger with more authenticity than any of the male rap stars up there with you. In sheer black and polka dots, no less.
TODAY, your baby is due TODAY. You could have been in prelabor AS YOU PERFORMED. And still, you got up there and stole the stage. You are my pregnancy hero. I hope that if I ever am pregnant, I can be as super cool of a pregnant lady as you are.
Oh, M.I.A., I need to rephrase that- I hope I can be almost as cool, pregnant or not. I don’t think anybody could touch this.
Your Super Fan